Ask for what you want and get closer to your goals. Carlos Garcia reveals why young men hesitate—and how to fix it.
Most men your age won't ask for what you want. Not because they're stupid. Because somewhere along the way, they got taught that asking is weak, needy, or risky. So they sit quiet. They watch opportunities pass. Then they wonder why nothing changes.
Let me tell you what happened at Target that shifted something for me as a parent.
My daughter Gia and I were looking for bike helmets. Couldn't find them anywhere in the store. She turns to me and suggests we ask a store employee for help. Good thinking, right? Then she looks at me with this expectant look: "Are you gonna ask him?" Hold up. This was her idea. Her suggestion. But she wasn't going to follow through—she wanted me to do it.
I said no.
Not to be mean. But because I realized something real was happening in that moment. If I bailed her out, I'd be teaching her that asking for help is someone else's job. That discomfort is a reason to quit. That other people should handle her problems.
So she asked the employee. And he walked us straight to the helmets.
Here's what I told her after: Never be afraid to ask a question. Never be afraid to ask for what you want. Because if you never ask, you'll never get it. If you ask, you're always one step closer.
That's not motivational poster stuff. That's math.
Think about the last time you wanted something—a better job, a girl's number, feedback from your boss, help with something you're struggling with. How many times did you stay silent? How many times did you assume the answer was no before you even opened your mouth?
Most of the time, the worst that happens is someone says no. And you're exactly where you started. But sometimes—enough times that it matters—they say yes. They help. They give you the opportunity. They point you toward what you're looking for.
The guys who build real lives aren't smarter than you. They're not luckier. They just ask. They ask for advice. They ask for introductions. They ask for raises. They ask for what they actually want instead of settling for whatever's convenient.
Your voice matters. Your request matters. And you're not burdening people by asking—you're giving them a chance to help, and people generally like helping.
Start small if you need to. Ask a question in class instead of staying confused. Ask someone at Success Scholars or another mentor for genuine advice. Ask for what you want instead of hinting around it. Build the muscle.
Because every time you ask for what you want, you're practicing the skill that separates people who get results from people who don't.
Ask for what you want. You're one step closer than you were yesterday.